It's Always the Sand
by Simple-Minded Idiot
Summary: Gaara likes Sasuke. Really likes him. Sasuke's interested in him, too. So what's stopping them from getting it on? A humorous and short take on how Gaara and Sasuke finally get together despite that one single thing.


It's more humorous than anything. Or badly-written. The characters are OOC.

This is also a request fic (actually... I was the one who'd pitifully begged to have something like this requested). This is for Lisea-chan. Lisea18 who writes amazing NaruSasu.

I hope that you like it...

* * *

The first thing Gaara ever heard whenever he went into a relationship was 'Gaara-kun, I'm so happy that you picked me!'. Girls simply adored him. They thought that their Kazekage was just the most perfect person out there. Who was he to correct them? He was undeniably great, positively cool, and absolutely to-die-for. Anyway... it felt nice to be so near someone. There was that _bond_. 

Ever since the first time he met Naruto, he'd been crazy about bonds and making bonds. A bond addict, perhaps. Now that sounded so wrong on so many levels...

After he became Kazekage, he never got used to being refused by females and some males. Well, Sasuke sure wasn't ordinary. He was never one of them. Gaara had always noticed him whenever and wherever.

Gaara was so sure that Sasuke would accept his proposal for a date and perhaps even more than just that. He got the opposite reaction. In fact, he got brutally turned down just like many of the Uchiha's fans who were still miraculously large in number, seeing as he betrayed Konoha and all. It seemed as his charms were still far too powerful... Though that was already quite obvious since Gaara was chasing after him and all.

That refusal just made Gaara more determined to get Sasuke. He would ask him out every time he was in Konoha and would get turned down every time he did so. He had never been a patient one in the first place, like Sasuke, and simply broke down the Uchiha's door, demanding why he didn't want to go out with him.

Sasuke then threw a kunai at him. Of course, his ever-protective sand caught it before it hit him.

"That's why. I would've accepted your whole offer if you didn't have that damn sand. Lose it first," Sasuke said.

Gaara made his merry way, which was all in his head of course seeing as nobody fainted from the sight of him _actually_ being happy, back to Suna. He now knew how to get Uchiha Sasuke to his bed. Yes, he never missed anything. He knew the implications of _your whole offer_. Well, at least that would mean that Sasuke was interested in him which was better than nothing at all. He felt quite flattered that that molest-able – not to mention _virgin_ – piece of ass wanted him, too.

Sasuke had never admitted or came close to admitting that he actually wanted something, much less someone. For Gaara, this sure felt like a dream. He pinched himself, or, rather, his sand, and was very happy to feel Shukaku's pain. Definitely no dream. Life was good right now.

But now... his problem was... how exactly would he _lose_ his sand? When he voiced this dilemma to Temari and Kankurou, that was when a series of _things _began to happen.

First, Temari tried to blow the sand away with her kyodai sensu. Apparently, that didn't happen. Then Kankurou tried to peel off the sand from Gaara's skin with a chisel and hammer. That only got him several bruises and cuts.

For three weeks, the people of Suna tried to think of a solution to Gaara's problem. But nothing worked. The sand shield held strong. Shukaku was relentless.

"You're going to be the reason why I'm going to have blue balls," Gaara muttered once he retired to his room for the night.

"You could have others, you know. There are more fish in the sea. You _could_ go for that boy's brother. Or that boy who looks something like him. Of course, there's also the Kyuubi jinchuuriki," Shukaku said.

Gaara scowled before he plopped himself on his bed. Sleeping had never been an option unless it was in a battle. Yeah, well, this sure felt like a battle. Who knew that getting Sasuke to go out with him would be _this_ hard?

But he would not stop. He wanted Sasuke and only Sasuke.

* * *

It was a month later when Gaara made another move. He just couldn't take it anymore. Wet dreams every friggin' night as if he was a teenager. He was twenty-two, dammit! So he burst through Sasuke's apartment and into his room once again, only to find him sliding his boxers up his legs. What nice ass! 

Life was truly like a demented fairytale. Now, Gaara just wished that he could _eat_ Sasuke up. He was definitely okay if they could just skip the dating part and go to the bed part of their _relationship_. Their soon-to-be-commenced relationship to be more exact. Sasuke wanted him, too, right? So he shouldn't have any qualms with that.

"What the hell are you doing here?!" Sasuke exclaimed, obviously startled and thus, dropping his hold on his boxers.

Well, if those boxers sliding down his legs said anything... Gaara had never felt more awake than that time. Blood was rushing everywhere, especially down there. He was now a man on a mission. In a split of a second, Sasuke was on the ground with Gaara on top of him.

"Get off!" Sasuke said.

He had never felt more panicked than today. If this continued, his virginity would only be a memory. He hadn't even killed Itachi yet! Not to mention he had never ever liked the gritty feel of sand and would definitely not like those things in his ass. He knew that Gaara's sand protected his whole body. _Whole_ body. Every single inch of his body.

"Shut up, Uchiha. I'm going to enjoy this. You're going to enjoy this. We're all going to enjoy this. I know that you don't like sand that much, but _deal with it_. I _need_ this," Gaara growled.

Silence ensued afterwards. Gaara didn't know that he needed it this much. He looked at the pretty face below him. Those eyes seemed far, distant. Sasuke was thinking. Hopefully whatever would come out of his mouth wouldn't be something negative. Gaara didn't feel like raping anyone anytime soon.

"The ground's... uncomfortable. The carpet's itchy. And did you... lock the door?" Sasuke asked.

Sasuke was a smart boy. He knew that Gaara would take his virginity either way. It was much better if it was consensual sex rather than rape. Besides, it wasn't as if he wasn't all that willing to do _the deed_. Gaara was rather handsome – and if translated from Sasukenese, that would be read as "sex god" – and the horde of people that he'd bed said that he was very good and was _sure to please_.

Those words were what Gaara needed. He scooped up Sasuke and, surprisingly enough, gently laid him on the bed. Then he locked the door to the bedroom, undressed himself and jumped on the bed where smooth and slender legs wrapped around his waist. This was going to be one heck of a morning.

Damn the lube! Besides, Gaara figured that Sasuke wouldn't like taking things easy.

Soon enough, mewls, grunts, screams, and many more sounds filled Sasuke's apartment. Kakashi and Jiraiya were having a field day.

* * *

"Gaara... is late," Tsunade remarked. 

It was two in the afternoon. The meeting between her and Gaara was supposed to be on one thirty. As far as she was concerned, he was never late. Temari was also wondering what was keeping her brother. The last time she saw him was around seven hours ago. The moment they entered Konoha, he disappeared off to somewhere.

"Gomen--" Temari started to say.

Gaara then appeared in front of them a whirl of sand. He sat on the chair beside Temari and apologized for being late. Was it them or was he eerily... _happy_? He also seemed to be in a great rush to end the meeting. That had never happened before too.

* * *

Temari was ready this time. She tailed her brother, making sure that he wouldn't detect her or her chakra. She was surprised when he leaped to a particular floor. A door opened... And fuck! Was that Sasuke wearing only a bathrobe?! The door soon closed. It was as if no one had been there. When Temari decided to investigate, she found a dark blue bathrobe outside a door. Something was _definitely_ on. 

_No wonder he was eager to end the meeting_, she thought. Ah, well, whatever made Gaara happy was fine with her. He knew what he was doing. If those sounds she was hearing told anything...

* * *

Sasuke finally felt all sorts of things when he stood up the next morning. He was sticky and... there was tons of sand down there. 

"Gaara!" he exclaimed as he wiped some sand off his thigh with an index finger.

That soon woke up Gaara. He sure wouldn't mind being woken up like that after such a nice day, which pleased even Shukaku thus making the bijuu forget his wish to escape Gaara, if the first thing he saw was such a riveting sight. The Uchiha was standing in all of his glory, as naked as the day he was born and his skin glistening with sand and some other stuff.

Round four was on!

* * *

Just like with the stuff that I've been doing, I'm worried as to how I've written this. Please comment on it. I'd like to improve my writing. From grammar to spelling. I'd add plot and characterization, too, but this story really doesn't have much of a plot and the characters are already blatantly out of character... 

Thank you for taking the time to read this.


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